I Spy With My Little Eye

The Importance of Stopping The Meter

The CRTC’s recent controversial decision to cap monthly internet use and charge exorbitant rates for overusage has made a lot of people very angry, including me. I’m not even certain I’m fully against usage-based billing if it was reasonably priced (which the proposed new plan is not) because I understand it makes sense the more you use, the more you should pay; what I’m mad about is the arrogance with which this policy was announced and the reasoning behind it.

The truth is, the CRTC’s justification does not make any sense, arguing that the money is needed to maintain and upkeep infrastructure. Why, then, is Canada the only country to have this problem? Because it’s a lie, that’s why. In fact, the more technology advances, the cheaper it gets. Simply put, they want us on the internet less and watching TV and commercials more. People need to look past the smoke and mirrors to see what is really behind this decision. I can guarantee that it is no coincidence that members of the CRTC board have deep roots in not only television and radio, but the very companies that would profit the most from a usage-based billing system; eg. Leonard Katz, Vice Chairmen of Communications of the CRTC: 17 year veteran of Rogers Group of Companies, as well as 9 year veteran at Bell Canada.

Corporations and their long-time politician buddies with the classic boys club mentalities unfortunately continue to control just about everything in the country and usually get away with it. However, I strongly think that a technological backlash from the younger generations is putting a stop to these closed door conspiracies and handshakes. Wikileaks was just the tip of the iceberg and we need to continue to fight back because we will win. The internet gives us a voice and power in numbers. My generation can be criticized for being apathetic voters and technological fiends who have a hard time paying attention to one thing at a time, however we have proven that we do have a voice, we do have power and we still do have a right to democracy despite continuous attempts to stifle it.

The baby boomer generation has made a lot of us younger people feel apathetic towards our political climate by outright lying in elections and constantly being involved in scandals to the point where we don’t even vote; it isn’t because we don’t care, it’s because it seems no matter what we say or want, it goes ignored because we know that generally the government is going to do whatever it wants to satisfy itself and top officials. And this entire CRTC billing debate is a prime example.

The disparity between our generations grows as fast as technology advances. It is ludicrous that a group of aging old timers with archaic views is in control of regulating technology they cannot even begin to understand. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing, no concept of how integral the internet is to a vast number of people decades younger than themselves. If the CRTC wanted this pill to go down a little easier they should have hired a PR team under the age of thirty who at least knew what “bandwidth” and a “gigabyte” were. Instead, they came up with an immeasurable and vague response that was probably scripted to them by Bell and said “this will do”. And now they’ve made their bed by insulting the intelligence of thousands of people.

We’re sharper than we’re given credit for and we demand explanations. The internet is not just a service anymore, it is quickly becoming an essential part of everyday life, one that we depend on for everything from communicating to learning to entertaining; there is no going backwards. It’s time for a new generation to take control and hold companies and governments accountable.

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CRTC Chair Quotes (Feb 4, 2011)
http://openmedia.ca/blog/classic-quotes-our-crtc-chair

CRTC Internet decision gouges users (Feb 3, 2011)
http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/CRTC+Internet+decision+gouges+users/4215043/story.html

Big companies throttle Internet to favour their own content (Feb 2, 2011)
http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/companies+throttle+Internet+favour+their+content/4207670/story.html

CRTC will rescind ‘unlimited use’ Internet decision – or Ottawa will overturn it (Feb 2, 2011)
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/tories-to-overturn-crtc-decision-on-bandwith-billing/article1892522/

New Internet Usage Caps Hurt Canadians (Jan 30, 2011)
http://www.channelcanada.com/Article5436.html

CRTC Top Officials
http://www.crtc.gc.ca/eng/about/commissioners.htm

Stop The Meter On Your Internet Use
http://stopthemeter.ca

Why We Shouldn't Be Afraid to Die Alone

A few months ago I was visiting my grandmother in the nursing home where she now lives following an accident that left her unable to care for herself. Up until a couple of years ago she lived in a northern Ontario city by herself, alone in a big house ever since my grandfather died several years previous. She'd hire neighbours and odd jobbers to take care of her lawn and shovel snow from the driveway. And one day that all changed and she was never able to care for herself the same again.

As you can imagine, it's always an emotional experience to visit her and I feel endless guilt when it comes time to leave. She has nothing to do. Her life revolves around looking forward to the next visit from a family member and between those moments are spent gazing out the window. Day in, day out; it's enough to make one crazy. She doesn't enjoy group activities but prefers one on one conversations. Sadly, there is not a lot of that available where she lives.

I was trying to think of activities she could do to pass the time when no one is around but all I could think of was how awesome it would be if we could just set her up on a computer and she could reconnect with other aging friends who are still around and maybe even play some games. She'd have access to everything.

And it was then that I realized that when I'm old, I WILL know how to use computers, and I will be connected to people I know. My generation and all the ones after it are extremely good at being alone but not bored or lonely thanks to technology. We are resourceful and know how to access anything we want in under 10 seconds. By the time we are geriatrics we will probably be able to control computers using our mind only and thus won't be prohibited due to physical restrictions.

Worried about not having children to take care of you when you are old? Not necessary. With any luck you'll be so involved being young again playing Second Life you won't have any time for visitors anyways.

Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer

I pass long hours of surveillance by memorizing the digits of pi. There is no use whatsoever to me for these knowing these digits in their proper endless sequence other than just stretching my brain out and opening more drawers for storage. I think practicing memory skills is important, especially now, and especially while I've been experiencing a massive digital purge. But also because our brains are changing and we haven't anything near the memory and story-telling ability of generations ago.

Over the summer I developed an acute aversion to the whole concept of documenting, both written and visual, and I'm not sure where to go from here. It's not due to a lack of events or stories, but the extreme over-documentation of everything by everyone all the time. Party photos make me dizzy, Twitter makes me angry, and blogs are disgustingly self-indulgent. Facebook has ruined the photograph for me to the point where taking photos has turned into an awkward act and feels rude - I don't want to be that guy instilling panic in party guests that the photos are going to end up on Facebook. I erased completely old blogs and YouTube accounts because I didn't want possible future employers or boyfriends' ex-girlfriends to find them. It's hard to know what version of yourself you are going to want to edit in the future when our lives are being lived out online.

It felt really good at the time but now I've got a backlog of events and stories that are slipping from memory so smoothly even I barely notice it and no pictures or writing to refresh my memory. I wish I had documented the year better in some way...I just haven't yet figured out what that way is. I keep forgetting the past is happening right now and as it turns out, memorizing 103 digits of pi might help you remember grocery lists but it doesn't bring back the colours of a midsummer night quite like a photograph.

The Man on the Sidewalk

It was an early Saturday morning and I really didn't feel like working. The good news was that it was raining, so I could enjoy the next few hours I have to myself alone and relaxing in the backseat without the blazing heat of the sun forcing me to wait back there nearly naked.

I was on my way to my destination several blocks away and I came up to a stop sign. I looked over to my left quickly, did a double take and noticed on the sidewalk a toque just sitting there, upright as if the sidewalk was actually wearing it. I thought it might look like a cool photo so I inched forward to take a better look.

And then I saw the rest of what the parked car was blocking. First the very large, very thick pool of blood which led to the body laying face down in it, unmoving. Horrified, I froze. I know it seems obvious now to just run out and call for help right away, but in those situations of instant panic, weird things can pop into your head For the first few seconds I was afraid to leave my car mostly because the body showed no signs of life and I wasn't sure I was ready to handle dealing with finding a dead body first thing in the morning. Also, I was on my way to work and what if the body was dead and I had to answer a myriad of questions and provide a statement. All of this takes time.

Luckily my rationalization took over and I got out of my car and walked across the street. The bloody mess was disgusting and looked almost like there were chunks of brain in it. I found myself surprisingly calm at this gruesome discovery once up close. The man was breathing, struggling through the massive amount of blood that was blocking his nose which was making mucusy bubbles. As I called 911, I touched the man's arm and he instantly came to and splashed his hand around in the pool of blood which now fully surrounded his head. He tried lifting his head and for the first time made eye contact with me. I told him it's going to be ok and help is on its way, though I'm not sure he spoke English. He became frantic and quickly reached out with his bloody hand and grabbed my free arm and pulled me down towards the ground; his grip was impressive. My arm got completely covered in blood and so did my favourite wool sweater. I tore my arm away as the implications of this stranger's blood all over me quickly set in.

A man driving by stops to help and I free my arm from the increasingly agitated man on the ground. He helps me calm the fallen man down but he is very confused (understandably so) and continues to splash his hands in the thick pool of blood while reaching out trying to grab one of us. There is so much blood all over his face and head it's hard to see where the blood is coming from aside from the mucousy mess of his nose. He gets a hold of his toque and tries putting it on his head. This didn't seem like a good idea but the implications of this stranger's blood all over my arms was beginning to set in.

Finally, paramedics arrives. About 5 guys who all looked the same; similar in age, build and height and none of them particularly unattractive. I stepped away with a sigh of relief and called my boss as I watched them try to calm the man. I don't know why I called my boss, he was probably sleeping. It was kind of one of those things where you can't believe how fucked up what just happened was and he was the first person I thought of who would answer that early on a weekend.

After answering some questions and having my arms cleaned and disinfected by the paramedics, I was unsure if I should leave. I stood back and watched for a bit, maybe expecting some kind of good civilian certificate until I realized I wasn't needed anymore. I looked down and found a 4 leaf clover at my foot. It was then I decided to leave and I quietly sunk back into my car as the man was put into an ambulance, now fully strapped down. One of the paramedics saluted me and I continued on to my destination. Just another day at the office.

The Angry Boy

Our heads were just a couple meters away from each other, but he had no idea I even existed. He sat in the backseat looking straight ahead with the window down while his mother yelled at him in an language I couldn't understand standing out side of the car. The eight year old boy sat still with his unwavering stare though I could imagine his little hands now clenched into solid fists.

When an exasperated grunt, his mother stormed off leaving the boy alone in the car. As she marched into the grocery store, the boy didn't glance back at her once. Five minutes passed and suddenly it was like a spell had been broken causing the boy to become an inquisitive animation. He hopped into the front seat and sat in the driver's seat for a bit, pretending with surprising realism that he was driving. The boy had clearly become an expert in observing and mimicking in addition to his ability to appear stone cold and unresponsive. He moved around the car testing out each seat, and when that began to bore him, he looked for entertainment outside of the vehicle.

The boy peered into my car and suddenly I became the frozen one, not wanting him to see me crouching in the back seat. Despite the one-way glass effect of my windows, if you look hard enough with just the right lighting, you can see inside ever so slightly. Still not totally convince he didn't see me, I got the sense he knew I was in there anyways. Kids have infinitely better intuition about these kinds of things than adults do and it's always when children start poking around my car that I become weary. Deciding that whatever was in my car probably wasn't worth his time, his attention went back to his mom's.

Suddenly the boy stiffened. An idea hit him physically as much as it did mentally. Now moving quickly, the boy jumped into the car and rolled up all the windows. With the driver's side open, he push the automatic lock button and I could hear the mechanical click as he secured all doors at once. He took one last hurried glance around and looked towards a treed area in the distance. The boy started running towards it as fast as he could and didn't look back.

Heat Wave

There is no shade to speak of and not a cloud in the sky. I carefully angle my body so as to deflect what little breeze is in the air. In these situations it's easy to forget the point of what you're doing because you find yourself struggling to keep it together, stay hydrated, and not look at the time too often. Before long the day soon feels more like an personal endurance test than a crusade in the name of honesty.

Running up the hill are these three shirtless Japanese boys. They talk in rapid breathless voices about where to sit and decide on a bench about 20 feet from me. I keep reading, or at least maintaining the image that that's what I'm doing, ignoring them completely. My attention quickly turns back to the direct sun beating down on me.

I'm not sure how much time passes. I've fake read about 10 pages so far, stopping to carefully look at the occupants of each car that drives past. I look over to the bench of Japanese boys and they have vanished completely.

Sirens, telephones, babies crying. You hear it all in the still of a suburban heat wave and I think about how sound has its own way of time traveling to the future. That sound takes its tiny time machine as far as it has the energy to reach where an action that's already happened turns up in the present.

STOP IT! Pay attention. God it's so fucking hot.

The three shirtless Japanese boys run past me again. In the same direction as the first time and they head towards the bench 20 feet away from me.